My Baby

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Just when I was beginning to feel that I had a perfect life with a Lovely family, Loving husband, Well paid job , I discovered that i was going to be a mother. Environment around me was ecstatic. My parents, My in laws, My husband and all the relatives were all excited and so was I.

Months passed as I was getting pampered from all sides. I was enjoying the phase where I was getting all the love and attention. Things were all nice as they show in typical Bollywood movies.Finally the day came when I delivered and there I was, a mother of a baby boy. It was all awesome.

The reality started sinking in slowly. After the painful normal delivery that I had, all I wanted to do was rest/Sleep but my baby wouldn’t allow me to do so.As I belong to a typical Indian family I had to adhere to certain rules post my delivery. I was so used to going out every weekends and spending time with friends or family, Here I was home bound. Me, a major foodie was only given a few selective food items to eat. I was on a maternity leave , hence no office for 6 months. I was not allowed to eat what i wanted or felt like . I couldn’t walk barefoot. i was told not to get any beauty treatments done as it might affect the health of the baby.

I had piled on loads of weight, I was tired, I was bored. I wanted to run away. Away from everyone and have some quality time with self. I wanted to shout and tell everyone that I wanted to do things that I wanted to. Though my doctor asked me to be normal, my parents and in laws said I need to follow a few things to make sure my baby was healthy.

I used to cry alone and used to silently curse myself for getting in to all this. I suddenly started feeling it was good to be alone. Marriage, kids and family was a big responsibility which all of a sudden looked too much for me to handle. I spoke to my doctor and I was told that I may be suffering from depression and I was told to do yoga , listen to music and divert my mind. Nothing seemed to work.

Months passed and each day seemed like a drag. That is when a miracle happened. My baby looked at me and gave me the warmest smile. It was the most innocent and the most gentlest smile on earth. It was as if my baby was telling ” mummy I understand what you are going through and don’t worry it will all be OK, I am with you”. I was in tears. I hugged my baby tight and he giggled. That was it. I realized how much all that I had gone through was worth it. I realized that being a mother was magical. There was a sudden rush of emotions and I was just looking into my baby’s eyes. He was continuously smiling. That day changed my mind. I was a different person from the next day.

Now after a year of being a mother , that day still brings tears to my eyes. It was pure magic. I simply love my son and I am proud to be a mother. Thanks for the opportunity to let me share my feelings.


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